Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Sweetness and Light

Life is sweet right now

My husband has taken time off work and we are spending days together in that way people do when they've been together a long time. Sometimes we can't get enough closeness and the next bit we find that we're tripping over one another. It's good. That kind of time creates small moments that are wonderful. He finished the gate today while I poop-scooped the yard. We were together and it felt right.

Yesterday we drove all over, looking for places where he can finish hikes into the mountains without climbing through someone's backyard. One day we bought fruit. Another day we went to Leavenworth and bought me a hat.

Life's minutiae is sweet. During these times, pain just is. We both know the pain sits on my shoulder, but we agree unspokenly to ignore the beast. All daily activities are planned around my afternoon nap, which is sacrosanct.

Maybe it's the lingering light of fall days, or the surprise of looking up to see that a single branch of the poplar tree went golden over night. Whatever the reason, these days glow. Asters are blooming in all shades of pinks and purples, the flame bush is in its glory now.

I wonder sometimes if that pathetic little bush that clings to life through spring and summer, finally managing to cover itself with leaves at the end of the season, knows that only the fall display of scarlet leaves saves it from the compost heap?

So I hurt. It's there under everything, on top of everything. But not so horribly today that I feel the need to whimper and rage. The concession is that life is quiet. There will be no late-night drive over the mountains for a movie in Seattle, no staying out in the cold watching the fall sky turning to winter.

Instead, I'm about to go upstairs and make tea for two people. I think we will drink our tea while walking through the garden, one more time, spotting a place that needs more bulbs and a plant that needs dividing and the surprising turn to scarlet of a cranes bill geranium leaf.

Then I'll sleep and maybe dream about the autumnal turning. And breathe in this sweet time while it stays.

Peace and Blessings

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